Monthly Archives: October 2009

X-ray-ted at the airport

CANADA’S PRIVACY commissioner has just given the OK to airport scanners that enable security officers to see through the clothes of travelers. Ostensibly, this scanner will show if people are packing explosives or any other weapons that might slip through … Continue reading

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PM tunes out

CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER Stephen Harper created a bit of a stink last week when he told a business luncheon that “I don’t like to watch Canadian news.” The PM, leader of the Conservative Party, said he doesn’t enjoy hearing what “everybody else is saying … Continue reading

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Brewing in the buff

I PITY Eric Williamson, the Springfield, Va dude who was arrested earlier this week for indecent exposure after some lady walking her kid to school spotted him in his kitchen making coffee buck naked and called police. The woman claims … Continue reading

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Boys to men… or not

TORONTO SCHOOL board education director Chris Spence on Tuesday announced plans for a boys-only public school, a so-called ’Male Leadership Academy’ that would offer an alternative learning environment for underachievers. This boys-only school would be a first for Ontario. Up until … Continue reading

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Balloon Boy was a hoax

IT WAS ALL a hoax. One that had been in the works for weeks, too, apparently. Sheriff Jim Alderden said Sunday that Richard and Mayumi Heene – the Fort Collins, Colo. couple who days ago reported their six-year-old son Falcon … Continue reading

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Balloon Boy ousts Octomom

MOVE OVER Octomom. Here comes Balloon Boy. That would be Falcon Heene, the six-year-old Colorado kid who reportedly floated away in a homemade helium balloon on Thursday, setting off a massive search operation and a media frenzy – only to … Continue reading

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Eyes on the road

A NEW distracted driving law comes into effect later this month in Ontario. The law requires that drivers use a hands-free device when on their cellphones. Sending e-mail or texting behind the wheel will be outlawed, as will fiddling with … Continue reading

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Survival of the un-fittest

A DARWIN AWARD is a dubious distinction, an accolade given to those who “ensure the long-term survival of the human race by removing themselves from the gene pool in a sublimely idiotic fashion.” Unfortunately, that disqualifies the two dumb-asses who hopped … Continue reading

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