Yesterday’s news

NEWSPAPERS TEND TO fuel thought and conversation. In the future, they might also fuel our automobiles.

Researchers at Tulane University have discovered a bacterial strain – TU-103 – that uses newsprint to produce butanol, a biofuel that can serve as a cheaper and more environmentally friendly substitute for gasoline.

TU-103 is the first bacterial strain from nature that produces 
butanol directly from cellulose, an organic compound found in all green plants – and “the most abundant organic material on earth,” the research team notes in a news release.

Nice to see that newspapers still have value in the digital age.
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Tinkle transgression triggers tee-hee for AC

Andy loses his shiz.

LOVE THE NOW-NOTORIOUS video of CNN anchor Anderson Cooper, consumed by an on-air giggling fit while discussing the story of French actor Gérard Depardieu getting tossed off an Air France flight after urinating (sort of) in the airplane cabin.

Cooper, normally a pretty serious guy but given to the occasional light-hearted moment, triggered his own laughter outbreak with a few puns that I think were quite clever – he spoke of Depardieu’s “jet stream” and concluded: “All I can say is they should thank their lucky stars it wasn’t Depar-two.”
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Rogers Cup: Legends outdo the ladies

Serena sleepwalked through the match, but won in straight sets.

HAD THE CHANCE to attend the Rogers Cup tennis tournament Saturday evening.

The featured match was a semi-final between Serena Williams – in the midst of a comeback following health issues – and Victoria Azarenka, the Belarusian who is attracting quite a bit of notoriety, and criticism, for her on-court grunting, which the Globe and Mail aptly described as “a high-pitched warble (that) lingers for almost two seconds”:
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Son of Gretzky

THE CHICAGO CUBS are praying to the baseball gods that they’ve got the next great one in their hands.

The next one?

The ill-fated ball club on Friday signed Wayne Gretzky’s 18-year-old son Trevor, whom they’d picked in the seventh round of the amateur draft in June. Wonder if he’ll wear No. 99…

Son of Gretzky isn’t a hockey player,  at least not good enough of one to go pro. But he’s not a half-bad baseball player. According to MLB.com, Trevor finished his senior season with a .393 batting average, with one home run and 27 RBIs in 31 games in 2011.

He’s not posting spectacular, prodigious numbers just yet; to be fair, the young Gretzky is recovering from injury. But if I were the Cubs, a team with little left to lose, I’d take a chance on a kid named Gretzky, too.

ryan@roadtostarrdom.com

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Market reaction

Just another day at the office...

I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT The Brokers With Hands on Their Faces Blog back in 2008, when the global economy took a big ol’ tumble into the toilet. I’m sure it would have lent a bit of bizarre lightheartedness to an otherwise f-d up situation.

The blog – which, as per its name, showcases images of brokers with hands on their faces, those cliched photos that most every newspaper in the world runs whenever the economy takes a turn for the worst – was launched in the fall of 2008 as a humorous response to the big crash. It ceased operations in 2009 when things seemed to be improving, at least as far as financial markets were concerned.

With the markets having resumed their madness over the past week, however, TBWHOTFB creator Matthew Robison – who has since relocated from New York to Wisconsin, and is struggling to make ends meet – decided to re-start his Tumblr photo blog with fresh images of, well, brokers with hands on their faces. Honestly, you’d think these guys would be used to watching the markets get hammered; that reacting like that would just be a waste of energy at this point.
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Attack of the donut cheeseburger

A devilish delight, but at what cost?

THE CANADIAN NATIONAL EXHIBITION, Toronto’s annual summer fair, is a nexus of summer-eating naughtiness, a place where fatty food lovers can really get their fix.

Last year deep fried butter was the talk of the town. This year, it’s the donut cheeseburger, which has two Krispy Kreme donuts for a bun. This heart attack waiting to happen comes to the CNE courtesy of Epic Burgers and Waffles, a local proprietor which put out a press release earlier this week to promote their public health hazard. “The salty/sweet combination is a perfect convergence of all that is insanely good,” the company boasts.

But it comes at a cost.
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The problem with “balanced” reporting

NEW YORK TIMES columnist Paul Krugman is taking the U.S. news media to task for the cult of “balance” in its coverage of the recent debt showdown – reportage that characterized the Democrats and Republicans as “equally intransigent” during negotiations.

This simplistic “he said, she said” portrayal of the debt debate prompted pundits to “fantasize about some kind of ‘centrist’ uprising,” Krugman notes, “as if the problem was too much partisanship on both sides.”

Paul Krugman

The essence of the media’s cult of “balance,” he says, is “the insistence on portraying both parties as equally wrong and equally at fault on any issue, never mind the facts.” If one party declared that the earth was flat, Krugman quips, “the headlines would read ‘Views Differ on Shape of Planet.’”

The thing about always covering political disputes as if both parties are equally to blame is that there’s “no penalty for extremism,” he adds. “Voters won’t punish you for outrageous behavior if all they ever hear is that both sides are at fault.”
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Politicians or pre-schoolers?

LOOKS LIKE I’M not the only one in for a long weekend – those doofuses in the U.S. Congress continue to wrangle over raising the debt ceiling with the deadline just days away. Hopefully these “leaders” can reach some sort of deal soon and avoid destroying their own country and taking the world economy down along with them.

As I prepare to head off for some much-anticipated holiday weekend R n R, I see that Newseum has rated the cover of Friday’s New York Daily News one of today’s top front pages. Wouldn’t you agree that it accurately captures the essence of the current state – and maturity level – of U.S. politics:

ryan@roadtostarrdom.com

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